hm

"I feel as if i'm being used by someone really close to me, at least thats what i think, to ward off suspicion."

That exactly how I felt a few hours back, and now.

Somehow somewhat, it feels that you're using me. And I thought you were my friend (or rather my bestfriend), someone I can trust. Maybe now your plans have been found out and you're gonna find another scapegoat.

How stupid, have been unknowingly used for about 2 months now..
And I even treat you like one of my closest.

If you feel your heart just stopped and this "Oh my God is Joyce talking about me?" just came into your mind,

Most probably I'm talking about you.