I feel like I'm sinking into depression..

With the recent passing of someone so close to me, stress of the exams and now.. You guys have to quarrel and made me so upset.

I'm going to bend and break..

I miss you.

Baby Sniffles,

I miss you so much. Everytime I think about not being unable to do stuffs with you anymore, I die a little inside. It's insane how many times I've spent thinking about you and I get disappointed whenever I know you've passed on. My little furry baby, where are you now? Are you right beside me or are you sleeping in your favorite hamhead hideout? 

I miss you so much.. Too much. It hurts so bad :'(

In loving memory of Sniffles.

Dear Sniffles,

Have I ever told you how much I love you? And how much you make me so happy, always?

With your constant funny habits and movements, I can't help but to laugh and smile so brightly in my heart. You make me so happy, you make me feel like my troubles are just some peanuts I could just crush them when I clench my fist.

When I first got you, I squealed in delight cause you're the most precious little hammy I've ever set eyes upon. All I wanna do is give you the best and my all. I want you to lead a happy, healthy life. You make me forget my problems whenever I held you. It's as if you have special powers. 

Hey, what happened to you last night? You look listlessness and real tired? It was past midnight. I got worried and wanted to accompany you to check if things are alright. I forgo my studying for exams just to ensure you are alright. You have a some soft stools at your bum, what happened? All I wanna do is for you to be well. I took you out and laid you down on my chest. You laid there quietly with your eyes half opened as I stroked your furry fur and talked about how you cannot leave me because I want you to be here with me, through my hardest times. 

You cannot leave me. 

You laid there so quietly on my chest, at 2am in the morning. I feel so complete. 

I woke up in the morning the next day, feeling so worried yet excited to see your little face but there you were, sleeping in your little hamhead hideout. I looked intensely for a minute, wondering why isn't there signs of breathing. My sister tried picking up the hideout and shook it gently. No, still no movements. I called out for you, still being in denial about the passing of you. It cannot be. It's too soon. 

You passed away. 

By right your real age would have been 1 year and 3 months. But counting the date when I first got you, your birthday will be next Saturday, the day you will turn 1. I was looking forward to celebrate your birthday with little cakes and party hats, with the entire family singing "Happy Birthday" to you and we will have presents and you'll rip the wrapping papers, with the family. We had a deal to celebrate birthdays together and you will wait for the day I graduate from university. We've been through so much yet you left. 

Maybe last night you were really tired and had to go, but you mustered your every last bit of energy just to lay down with me for 1 last time. It had to be. I know you love me like how I love you. You're forever my little baby, I love you so much. 

I miss you already.. Too much.

The times you rush to eat from your food bowl whenever I topped up your bowl. When you squeezed into little tight corners to sleep and I'll be snapping pictures of you. Whenever you jump or climb to the second storey, it was so funny, you were like a gymnast. And when you frantically tried to climb onto my hand cause you hate that small plastic box where I place you in because I was washing your cage/tank. Because.. For you I will do anything just to make you happy. 

Wishing you will be happy and eating to your fullest in hamster heaven. I believe you are looking down at me, thanking me. I wanna thank you instead, for giving me the best time ever since you came into my life. 

I love you Sniffles baby.

Always have, always will, 

always and forever.

In loving memory of Sniffles,

June 2012 - May 2013

Your loving owner,

Joyce

End

"Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, 
I got over you."

May BellaBox 2013

I've received my May bellabox! This month's theme was Ready For Cannes. All about the hollywood glitz and glam and beauty secrets haha.

 
Description as shown, very cute! Cause it's in the shape of a ticket.

In the order of the pic posted :)

Bonus Item: Borracha Wine Wipes
20 pcs / $8.70

Worth: 1 pc / $0.44

What I feel:
Cool gypsy kinda vibe packaging. Will prolly never use it cause first, I don't drink wine unless at wedding dinners or something.


Bonus Item: The Lash Card
10 pcs / $8.90

Worth: 2 pcs / $1.78

What I feel:
Sounds quite interesting to use. However I rarely use makeup but I'll be sure to try this when applying my mascara!


Sasa Oil Blotting Paper
160pcs / $3.90

Worth: 160pcs / $3.90

What I feel:
Got the whole entire item like what they're selling at Sasa? Somemore got price tag intact still hahaha. Its flavoured as well. Very useful when going out for long hours :)


Lavin Me Eau De Parfum
50ml / $108

Worth: 2ml / $4.32

What I feel:
Haven't sprayed it to get a whiff of it. Quite pricey from what I can tell. Wishing bb's fragrant samples can be bigger in size though, like taylor swift's wonderstruck perfume hahah.


Talika Eye Therapy Patch
6 pairs / $120

Worth: 1 pair / $20

What I feel:
WOW. Look at the freaking price!!! 6 pairs for $120. Tsk, must be really damn good. Will try it before I sleep or something :D


Model Co Lipgloss
1 for $23

Worth: $23

What I feel:
L-O-V-I-N-G THIS!! I've tried it and really liked it alot. The colour is gorgeous, the feeling on your lips is just comfortable and really really pretty.I stopped using lipglosses cause they make me feel ver uncomfortable, but this is just pretty amazing!!


Dr Morita Hyaluronic Acid Essence Mask
10 pcs / $15.90

Worth: 1 pc / $1.59

What I feel:
Personally I have alot of face mask and never really got the time to use them. The packaging looks like a cheapo kinda brand but then I'll go try it though when I'm free!! :)

Total box worth: $55.03

How I feel about this month's box? Hmm. Some stuff I'll never use though. But I'll have to say the one favourite item in this month's box will be the model co lipgloss!! It is really worth the $.
Hoping next month's box will be more exciting :)

Whole new level

I hate this.

I hate seeing people talking about others behind their backs and then acting so bloody nice to them and the latter still treats them so nice like treating them dinner, drinks and all.

Fuck. It's a fucking cruel world. I hate it so much.

When I dislike someone, I really will go all out to avoid having any contact with them and won't talk or be friendly at all. Unless there's really an important reason, I'll oblige.

But what the fuck you're a whole bloody new level? They treated you so well and gave you all sorts of things yet there you go shooting your mouth off so easily like that?! How can you even live with yourself.

Omfg I can't stand to see this. seriously. I feel kind of hurt everytime I know of such things happening. Twice, thrice, four times.....

Every single shit is getting from worse to horrendous. Don't go living in denial and thinking everything is fine. I'm beginning to see a line being drawn

Bitchass. I can no longer stand it anymore.