I'm an introvert person... Since young. I dislike the idea of going out and would rather stay home. I like watching tv, doing stuffs, using my laptop and just laying around in the house. The idea of making new friends or meeting new people terrifies the crap out of me and I can't really confide in anyone other than my boyfriend, family and some close friends I have.
Well, I'm gonna have to cross out the "boyfriend" now.
2 years and 3 months.. Oh what a wonderful long journey it has been.
Do you know, you've always been the first I call whenever I needed someone to talk to?
Do you know, you've always been the one I feel so comfortable with?
Well, things have started to change after us being together for a year. We quarreled, had been on and off a few times and the trust I had for you eventually went downhill after a few major incidents that tested our faithfulness towards each other. Yeah.. You told me you do not wanna meet me the following day after I asked if we could go out (like after not seeing you for almost a week) and you said you can't cause you had so many things to do so I just said okay. Instead.. You went out drinking until the wee hours, even when I asked you not to go, you did anyway. I understand now, I can't even be compared to your friends, ha ha ha..
You once told me, I was first. Followed by family, career and friends. I told you, "Please don't put me infront of your family." You protested and stood to your ground saying, "No, you are always number 1 in my life." Things changed, people changed. My level of tolerance towards you gradually faded and I get short-fused many times. I can't blame you if you would rather meet your friends instead of me, your ex-girlfriend. Even when I told you, "If you go and meet them, I would not want to be with you anymore." Unfortunately, you chose not to be with me. Thank you.
I wouldn't blame it all on you. Who would wanna be with someone like me? I told you before when we aren't together yet. I said, "You wouldn't wanna be with someone like me, I don't make a good girlfriend and I get angry and jealous really easily." You said you didn't mind and still wanna go against all odds. I was feeling skeptical. I admit my ego is high, I refuse to say sorry easily. I've treated you like shit. You can put the blame on me.
It was great having you around my life, major life events like being with me throughout my poly life, and
you were there for me, cheering me on and encouraging me when I just embarked on my uni life. You were really being very supportive of me, I feel so awful thinking, you could have deserved a better girl. You said, you wouldn't want anybody in your life.
I guess we are all tired now. But then again it has really been great having you. I'm just starting week 4 of my uni life and have 2 years to go and you've just started your career, so I guess we all have something to occupy our minds until we can get over this relationship (I can't say the same for you). I don't know if you feel sad, but I can tell you are already having new girl-friends into your life and you're constantly out until the AM's with your dear friends. So I think you might be happier now, I know it.
Thank you for partaking and embarking this journey together with me. And now we've come to a closure and things are not working out as we've wanted to. I guess.. We're still young and we still have a long way to go. I know its silly where you've included me into your future life and marriage proposal, where you've planned the amount of money to save, where we will live in the future, and that you want a son first then a daughter and stuff.. I know that... You can definitely find someone to fit into your dream girl's shoes more perfectly than I do.
I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
& I wish you.. Happiness.
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